Circles of Friends
— Musings of Dr. Jamie Hsu, 11.9.2016
We all have a lot of friends, especially during this age of social media. Our contact lists keep growing in Facebook, WeChat, Line, Twitter, email, and Instagram. We measure our popularity by the number of ‘Likes’ we get on our postings. But are we really making friends? Are we developing true friendships? Or are we “spreading the dough too thin”?
Let’s take a look at the different Circles of Friends:
At the outermost circle are hundreds or even thousands of Acquaintances, whom we have occasional contact through work, social gatherings, organizations, and neighborhood. Other than their names and jobs, we may not know much about them.
Then there are our Social Friends – the people we socialize with. We know their family, work, interests, and their views on things. They may number in the low hundreds.
Even closer to us are the Buddies with whom we do things together: watch sports, travel together, drink beers, or just hang-out. Their number may be in the tens.
Very close to our lives are the few Trusted Friends who will take care of us, and even take care of our family when needed. We go to them for counsel, for help, for advice, and for a shoulder to lean on.
Of course, Family is a major part of our lives. They give us love, happiness, unwavering support, and purpose to our existence.
And finally, if you are lucky, you have the innermost 2 circles. One circle includes the few Soul Mates or Mentors who truly understand you, support you without judging, help you without expectations, and care for you without conditions.
And in the final circle, you are with your own Self Conscience, or God who shapes your values and grants you tranquility.
Hope you have rich and well-balanced Circles of Friends.
你的朋友圈裡”知己” 有多少？
-作者 許俊宸博士
-中譯 薛乃綺
我們每個人都會有朋友，特別是在這個社群媒體世代，無論是在Facebook, WeChat, Line, Twitter, email, Instagram等等，我們的通訊錄上的名單似乎不斷在增加中；不僅如此，我們還透過別人按”讚”的次數，來衡量自己受歡迎的程度。但，這樣真的是在交朋友嗎？彼此之間有因此而發展更深刻的友誼嗎？還是我們把”社交圈”擴得太廣，搞得自己分身乏術、疲憊不堪？(就像桿蔥油餅的餅皮一樣，把麵團鋪的越廣，餅皮就變得越薄)
先來看一下所謂的朋友圈。最外圈的是成千上百個”認識的人”，這些熟人或者是因為工作、社團活動、組織甚至是鄰里間的關係而偶而有聯繫。除了對方的名字和工作，其實並不太了解他們個人。接下來的是會與對方有來往的”社交朋友”；我們會知道他們的家人、職業、興趣、以及對事情的看法，而這群朋友的數量也許就百來位。
再更靠近的一群朋友，是跟我們常在一起的”夥伴”；會一起看球賽、一起旅行、一起喝啤酒、甚至一起外出閒逛；這些人的數量大概會有几十來位。再接下來的一圈，是在自己人生中有很密切關聯和可信赖的“密友”；在有需要的時候，他們會替你處理事情、甚至幫忙照料你的家人。我們也會去找這些密友尋求諮詢、協助、建議，甚至是在痛苦和脆弱时作為依靠的肩膀。除了這些友人外，“家人”當然也是我們人生當中重要的一環；給予愛、關懷、無條件的支持，更给了我們生命的动力和存在的意義。
如果你夠幸運，你會擁有最裡層，更深的兩個圈圈。有幾個“知己”深交，比你自己更了解自己，能沒有半點埋怨地去支持你、不求回饋的幫助你、無條件的照顧你。最後一圈是你自己，透過內心的“良知”、或心中的“神祉”，讓你能活出自己的價值、給予內心平和與寧靜。
祝福你，能擁有许多個豐富且平衡的朋友圈！
