Finding and Becoming the Right Partner
– Musings of Dr. Jamie Hsu, 10.1.2016
It is always a very happy occasion to attend weddings — to see the lucky couple who found each other and to immerse in the happiness of family and friends. The couple has taken years to know each other, to fall in love, and to finally tie the knot. But finding the right partner is just the beginning. It will take a life-long commitment and effort to become the right person for each other.
As the couple moves through the journey of establishing a family, pursuing careers, raising kids, and taking care of each other, they will encounter ups and downs. To navigate such a long journey, love is not enough. They will need to communicate, to change, to adapt, to compromise, to learn, and most importantly, they will need the desire to “become the right person for each other.”
In order to become the right person, ask the following questions:
Are you growing from being dependent to independent, and to interdependent?
Are you becoming better and better because of each other?
Are you gaining each other without losing yourselves?
And finally, are you like a mirror to each other?
A mirror provides unbiased feedback silently and truthfully. It does not criticize or pass judgment. It serves you only when needed and does not follow you around to nag you. It only focuses on the present moment. It does not bring up the past or the future. And most importantly, it does not keep a record of what was in front of it.
Are you willing to be a nice mirror? Are you becoming the right person for your partner?
变成理想的伴侶
–作者 許俊宸博士
–中譯 薛乃綺
參加婚禮總是一件令人開心的事情！可以看到新婚夫婦幸運地找到了彼此，兩個人從相識、相愛，到共結連理，沉浸在親友們的祝福中。
但，找到對的伴侶僅僅是個開始。彼此都需要用上一輩子的承諾與努力，來讓自己成為對方的”理想伴侶”。在這一連串的旅程中，雙方會共同經歷許多的起起落落，包括共組家庭、追求事業、撫養孩子、還有彼此的扶持照顧。要一起走這麼久的旅程，光靠愛情是不夠的。雙方還需要許多的”技能”，要溝通、要改變、要適應、要妥協、要學習；重點是，要能”渴望”成為彼此最合適的伴侶！
想成為她/他的Mr./Ms. Right嗎？先來試試看回答以下的問題：
*兩個人之間是否從依賴、到獨立、到互相依存？
*自己是否都因為對方而變成一個越來越好的人？
*兩個人之間是否能擁有彼此, 但又不失去自我？
*最後的問題是：你們是否能成為彼此的鏡子？
作為一面鏡子，要能安靜、如實、不偏倚地進行回饋，而不是去批判或決斷；只出現在你需要的時候，而不會纏著你嘮叨；只專注在當下，而不會舊事重提或秋後算帳。更更重要的是，鏡子不會去”備份”以前留下的紀錄！
你，願意成為一面好的鏡子嗎？
祝你努力，讓自己成為對方的”理想伴侶”
Right partner makes your good times great, and your tough times easier.
